30 weeks already. Wow. I feel like time is doing some weird thing where it feels painfully slow and way too fast all at the same time!
Looking back on my pregnancy so far, I realise I’ve been really lucky to stay so well. A lot of my friends seem to have had one problem after another – that’s got to hamper your enjoyment of being pregnant, and I was adamant I was going to enjoy every single second of this. I’ve had bad weeks of course, I’ve felt terrible, and I’ve had some real scares but on the whole I’ve felt fit and well and this weekend I’ve felt amazing. (Probably something to do with the 10 hour sleep Friday night and the week-
long headache I’d had finally going!)
I have, however, had quite a lot of negative comments from total strangers about how big I am or how I must be carrying twins etc and although I don’t give a damn what these people think, and I know both myself and my son are happy and healthy it can be hard not to take these comments to heart. I’ve never been especially comfortable with my body. I’ve never been one of these people who doesn’t have to think about weight gain. I’ve had to work hard at eating well and working out in order to get a body I didn’t hate. So as much as I know that right now my size is all about nurturing my growing child, it isn’t easy to keep my mind from thinking I’m fat. It’s so easy to feel fat, frumpy and unattractive isn’t it?
Yesterday a friend of mine tagged me in a Facebook post. A local photographer is looking for a pregnant lady to photograph for her online portfolio and my friend thought I’d be interested. I sent a quick message to the photographer and it turns out she’s looking to do a very specific photo shoot…in the bath, with lots of flowers and pretty colours. The photograph would totally focus on bump.
I absolutely love this idea!
So I’ve volunteered to do it. Being photographed in the bath is not something I’d have ever dreamt of before, but I love the idea of having this beautiful bump picture that I can always look back on and one day show my little man. I’m actually really excited for this and can’t wait to share the pictures with you all when they’re done.
That was yesterday morning, then yesterday afternoon as I was leaving the hospital after visiting my nan I got chatting to a lovely couple who were also visiting a relative. They commented on how elegant and beautiful I looked and how pregnancy obviously agreed with me. In fact my favourite compliment from them was “you look magnificently pregnant!” It is so refreshing to having such lovely comments from total strangers that I was really touched by it. They really made my day! In actual fact, I’d been a bit upset leaving my nan as she was very down and quite distressed. Paul was lovely with her, but that only served to upset me more (because I cry at the drop of a hat at the best of times!) so to then come out and have this lovely couple say such lovely things, it really gave me a boost.
The truth is, I do feel “magnificently pregnant”! I feel proud to be able to nurture this tiny person because I know firsthand how awful it is to feel that you can’t. People will always open their mouths without engaging their brains, and people will thrust their opinions on you whether you’ve asked for them or not. I guess the trick is to keep in mind everything you’ve been through to get to this place. They don’t know what you’ve been through, they don’t know how much this means and ultimately their opinions don’t matter one little bit.
My new mantra: “I am not fat. I am magnificently pregnant!”