One week 

It’s just under a week now until our first scan. I’m incredibly anxious about it, but also wishing this week away so that I’ll know one way or another what’s going on. That sounds awful doesn’t it? Obviously I’m hoping that everything is perfect, but even if it’s not, and we have to go through that horror again, at least we’ll know. I feel as though I’m in a constant state of high anxiety and breath holding. It’s exhausting and terrifying and frankly is driving me a bit nuts.

I’ve got backache again. No bleeding, no cramps, but pretty nasty backache. The problem is that last time that’s how it started. I had the backache first, then the spotting, and then the cramps. So now as soon as I feel the slightest twinge in my back it’s panic stations. I haven’t told Paul where my head’s at. I figure one of us stressing constantly is probably enough.  

I really hope everything is ok next week. I’ve got my midwife booking in appointment on Thursday so I’ll vent my worries at her and hope that she’s more understanding and helpful than the GP was last time. I’d like to push for an early scan at maybe 10 weeks, but I don’t know if they’ll do it. If not, we’ll pay for another private one. Anything to help ease my worries, and no doubt Paul’s too. 

The only thing that’s making me feel somewhat reassured is that I’ve been suffering with pretty horrible nausea this last week. I’m hoping that’s a good sign? And I’m so sleepy all the time too. Again, that’s all pretty normal pregnancy stuff so fingers crossed that means all is well. 

I think I posted in a previous blog that last time I was sure it was a boy? This time I feel like it’s a girl. No rhyme or reason as to why, just a feeling. Hopefully time will tell… 

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